It was sunny and suddenly it’s raining today

In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful

*it’s raining when i write this*  begin with an extract from a book possessed by a friend of mine.

Someone said, “There is something I have forgotten.” There is one thing in the world that should not be forgotten. You may forget everything that except one thing, without there being any cause for concern. If you remember everything else but forget that one thing, you will have accomplished nothing. It would be as if a king sent you to a village on a specific mission. If you went and performed a hundered other tasks, but neglected to accomplish the task for which you were sent, it would be as though you had done nothing. The human being therefore has come into the world for a specific purpose and aim. If one does not fulfill that purpose, one has done nothing. We proposed the faith unto heavens, and the earth, and the mountains: and they refused to undertake it, and were afraid of it; but the human being undertook it; and yet truly, he was unjust to himself, and foolish [Quran 33:72]

Just finished my exam a week ago. Was quite frustrated with the exams as i think it was not my best. For some reason, i hate myself for being so weak and vulnerable. living in a complete different bi’ah is not easy for me. i miss the old times. living in bi’ah solehah. dikelilingi sahabat-sahabat yang membina, dengan madah-madah yang mengingatkan. sometimes thought about leaving everything and go back to my comfort zone. comfort zone as i said it. to some extent it can be seen as a good thing but as an impediment in another.

ponat den kengkadang. kadang termenung menangis. wish that i could be better. wish that i could done better. wish i could be perfect. wish that i could ace all the papers perfectly.then terjumpe lah plak kata-kata hikmat kat dinding

“you should never quit when your goal is noble especially if it’s for seeking pleasure of Allah, even if this means spending years and years seeking that goal. it can seem easy to quit, but the road to success requires strong will and patient perseverance.”

rindulah dulu-dulu tension pastu scribble kat my so-called journal. kadang-kadang boleh tulis satu karangan. and i realize what kept me going last time. by writing. crap or non-crap, writing, just recording random stuff help me through it. and i used to kill time by sketching. i had a sketchbook once. pastu mimpi nak bukak bisness dengan geng (amni anis). faten tukang design, anis tukang jahit, si amni the manager. adoooooooi. kanak-kanak ribena dulu. >.<

okay random pic sebab internet today is surprisingly fast. tak macam semalam.

so now i’ve finished my exams and currently torturing myself with personal statement. personal statement wehh. kene bace politik, philosophy dan ekonomi wehh. O.O i had 2 consecutive bad dreams these days. tak baca doa punya pasal laa kot.

this 9th June i’ll be going to Ireland for Summer Camp 2011. nnti jumpe Kak amer 8D looking forward to revive myself spiritually and physically. before that, i know i have to prepare myself. ticket flight = checked.

and i’ll update my past activities that i didn’t have the chance updating last time. nnti update my trip to France where i went for a conference and a talk about women scholars in Islam.

okay ni lagi gambar random sbb malas nk salin schedule revision session. so tangkap gambar je.

i was reflecting or crying (?) at the park after i did 3 exam papers subsequently. and i saw this just right to the bench where i sat.

p/s : tripod i ordered from eBay tak sampai-sampai lagiiiii >;( grr.

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