Except you’ enthral me, never shall be free

In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful.

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
130 – William Shakespeare

As all can assume, i’m quite literature-ish these few days (and posts) ._.  I miss home (which economically sums up the family, friends and weather) *sigh* *sucking up my sigh quickly* What had happened to me these few days? (a conclusion made up from the absence of posts in my blog) well, here’s what had happened. Cracking my brains and doing CBA(cost benefit analysis) choosing which universities to apply-applied for universities-first test cycle-TSA-second test cycle-basically ordering my life properly.

There’s a lot I want to write about really. So many things/issues in my head. The potential pre-reformation in Malaysia (?) The economic downturn (euro especially),freedom of speech and things in between ’em. Talking about freedom of speech, the latest(prolly not the latest) issue about ‘Seksualiti Merdeka’. I was not shocked by this issue, to be quite honest. The first time I heard this was last year but I’m surprised why there isn’t much fuss about it from the govt. So to prevent myself from jumping to any conclusion without concrete facts, I started to read a few comments and articles regarding this. How surprising the liberalisme and humanisme finally made a huge impact to our own culture and fundamental understanding of our values. Ban on sexuality rights festival violates human rights-as they claimed. I giggled. The thing about human rights that they are fighting for is against/and perhaps violates our fundamental principle of constitution of Malaysia which upholds that Islam is the religion of the Federation. Any threats that might/potentially violate the Federation must be treated asap. Two perspective can be adopt in interpreting this issue. From the Islamic perspective and the law(local/international) itself. And they do not contradict (in my opinion).

If one is upholding the stand that it shows the freedom of speech and human rights itself. One question that should be asked is the very basic definition of human rights. If we adopt the definition of ‘freedom’ as ‘doing everything freely’ in order to gain happiness, it might not be accurate. Human are full of desires. But fulfilling all of them  doesn’t mean that one is happy or reach a high level of satisfaction because is we gain one, we started to want another again. and we actually will be trap within our attachment to desires. So you’re not free after all huh?

And what’s all this Islamic organization supporting this movement? Interpretation from the Qur’an requires knowledge. Yes, we do tolerate and respect other people’s opinion/stand. But if it involves violating the basic teaching of Islam, we have to help those people. By saying help, I mean help, not condemning and throw bad words and swear blunty. That’s the importance of tarbiyyah and how Malaysia needs to bring back the piety of the ummah. Bagaimana mahu memandu kemajuan ekonomi mendahului developed nation jikalau rakyat hilang identiti sendiri?

Nasionalisme-cinta agama-kesejahteraan(happiness) tidak bercanggah. Malah, compliment each other. That’s why I came back to the extraction of Hasan Al Banna’s methodology presented by Ust Rusdi, Ust Hazizi and Ust Fauzi. Nasionalisme dilihat sebagai satu keperluan dalam rangka mengembalikan keagongan Islam dan kedaulatan Negara. Ia bukanya asobiah bangsa, sebalinya memimpin dunia ke arah kebaikan. Lihat sahaja Bhutan (salah satu negara yang amat inclusive shall i say) Satu sebab mengapa ia dianggap negara terbahagia di dunia adalah kerana mereka sangat berbangga dengan identiti mereka dan mengekalkan identiti negara sendiri. semangat nasionalisme yang kuat. cuma sayang kebahagiaan itu terbatas hanya kepada mereka. Semangat nasionalisme dan kemelayuan yang ditarget tidak seharusnya dipandang asobiah, malah harus dipandang sebagai mengembalikan produktiviti dan maruah negara sendiri. Ia hanyalah kumpulan sasaran yang dominan, bukan target itu sendiri. Kerana target kita, mencapai kebahagiaan dan cinta yang hakiki.

Dan agenda humanisme adalah satu agenda yang boleh/bakal mencabul mengancam kedaulatan negara/agama. Berpusatkan kepada nilai manusia dalam membuat keputusan. Agenda seperti ini seakan-akan mencari cari satu sistem yang sempurna untuk menggapai kebahagiaan dan kesejahteraan hakiki yang membawa kepada keadilan kepada semua. Tetapi loophole jelas terpampang. Sepertimana Dr. Tariq Ramadan menyebut bagaimana ideologi Friedrich Nietzsche yang mengatakan ‘Tuhan itu mati’ mengembalikan beliau kepada hakikat yang pasti, agama. Lihat sahaja revolusi-revolusi yang tercetus di seluruh dunia. Global economic downturn yang berpunca (to some extent) daripada kapitalisme. Perhaps there’s no pure capitalism system that exists currently but the regulation needed from the government itself needs piety and justice (which is not entail in most of the governtment’s institution).

Menulis kadang-kadang membawa kita kepada muhasabah. Kerna itu, perlu untuk terus berfikir. Mengapa dimasukkan puisi daripada William Shakespeare di atas? I studied this in class. Eventhough it’s not on our syllabus, my tutor included it anyway to show us the comparison between the conventional Elizabethan approach that other poets adopt (comparing the beloved’s beauty to the natural world) and Shakespeare’s ingenuity. He can be seen to be mocking those conventional approach by simply saying “the truth is, the moon and the stars are damn much more beautiful than my mistress’ eyes” somehow can be interpreted he not at all in love with his beloved. but the last two lines revealed everything. as if he’s saying “yet, by heaven, I love her and nothing can be compared to her beauty”. The point that i’m trying to make here, is the very essence of dakwah. Jalan dakwah itu bukan dihampar karpet merah. jatuh bangun, tangisan, pengorbanan itu norma jalan dakwah. Ya, nikmat dunia itu kelihatan lebih indah. cinta dunia itu kelihatan manis jika dihisap madunya. kesenangan seakan-akan membahagiakan. status memberi kepuasan yang tak terhingga. tetapi sayang, mendapat cintaNya lebih agung dan nikmat. dan kemanisan cintaNya tidak boleh dibanding dengan kemanisan dunia. seperti makan gula gula kapas. kelihatan indah. tetapi bila ingin menikmatinya saat dimamah, hilang tanpa meninggal apa apa signifikansi. Perlu perbaiki kembali ruhiyah yang ringkih ini.

p/s: eventhough I didn’t get to the interview, it was an experience. meeting peoples and learning new things. discovering myself really. received an offer from Durham University for PPE but still waiting for other offers to come (hopefully). now considering to reapply. should I? D:


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