Lúppulagio

In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful.

I promised myself something and I’m trying to keep that promise. I did stumble and cry on my way back home. (literally and figuratively). But it’s not my home, at least for now. I’m just a wanderer. no. I’m a fighter who travelled so far yet so vulnerable. I got my January results today. I was ecstatic and murdered at the same time. This time I’ve decided that I’m sick of being stressed and depressed. because it’s just, well, too depressing. It isn’t the end of the world really.

“Setiap manusia mempunyai dua wadah dasar yang relatif sama; waktu dan fisik. Tapi setiap orang mengelola keduanya, itulah yang memberikan hasil yang berbeda”

jangan buang energimu merintih kepada apa yang tidak pasti. jangan menangis kerana kecewa, atau rindu akan makhluk. keluarkan tangisan pejuang yang mendambakan cinta Dia. selagi hati tidak luka dan lelah, jangan panggil dirimu pejuang. tangisi dirimu yang berserakan lantas kembali pulang. pulang kepada yang pasti.

I’m a coward, really. and i have loads to learn. I was stressed in January and that affected my performance. see how stress can do bring you down. I was pleased with my English Lite result but too bad not the rest. I almost skipped my Math class today because, to be frank, I was just too embarrassed with my tutor and too upset to concentrate. I tried holding back my tears for one hour and at the end of the class, I nearly spilled the hot tears but i got away with it. but then, i stumbled upon my econs tutor. Great. I admit that i need to talk to him but wrong timing. my eyes and face were red and the same question everytime, “are you okay?”. prolly I always look bad as i feel. talked to him. yada yada yada and i walked back home crying. I called my mom and it felt good. it’s amazing how the sound of a vibrating voice through the phone from miles away can comfort you. how the thought of your bestfriend’s sense of humor can trigger the laugh inside you.

I’m okay but not perfect. Just remember cat pooping rainbow, unicorns and blue birds chirping in the morning helping to get you dress will always be at the very deep of your heart 🙂

 

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