Give and take

In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful.

currently playing : We Are The Tide – Blind Pilot

“Give me the sky, all the space
it can hold. I left you, the last night we loved,
and when I returned, you were gone with the gold,
and the silver, the river, the forest, the fields,
and this is the story I’ve told.”
                                                     Give – Carol Ann Duffy

I promised myself to sleep before 12 tonight. And it’s 7 to 12 which I consider myself as a failure already. I made so little progress with the book that I’m currently reading and I blame the fact that for the past 2 days, I suffer from my monthly pain where most women out there would understand what I’m talking about. Speaking of the level of pain from 1-10, I would say this one would be  a 13 and I’m going to drop this topic abruptly. The book that I’m currently reading is The Messenger (the one I blogged last time) which I didn’t manage to finish it back in UK because I was quite occupied with exams. I admire how Tariq Ramadan narrated the prophet’s life story and at the same time extract lessons for the reader-he touches not only the mind be the spiritual heart as well. My good friend from Morocco reminded me the objective of exams/learning basically when I was at the brink of giving up (what exams did to me back then). She gave me the extract of the surah “Al-Qalam” (The Pen):

“Nun. By the pen and by that which they write. You [Muhammad] are not, by the grace of your lord [Rabb, “Educator”], possessed. Verily, yours is an unfailing reward. And surely you have sublime morals. You will soon see, and they will see, which of you is afflicted with madness.”

“Thus, at the very moment when the Creator swears “by the pen” and confirms the necessity of the knowledge conveyed to human beings, He opens the verses with a mysterious letter, nun, expressing the limits of human knowledge. The dignity of humankind, conferred by knowledge, cannot be devoid of the humility of reason aware of its own limits and thereby recognizing the necessity of faith. Accepting, and accepting not to understand, the mysterious presence of the letter nun requires faith; understanding and accepting the unmysterious statements of the verses that follow require the use of reason that is active but necessarily – and indeed naturally – humbled.” – excerpt from The Messenger.

A few days ago I randomly tweeted my friend that after I finish degree in Economics & Politics (with His will), I’ll pursue architecture and now I’m contemplating about doing law. Perhaps just to discover myself to the next level. Uncertainty kills me. It is killing me softly. But I have to trust Him with all my heart and mind as my knowledge is limited and I am absolutely humbled.

Whatever happen or had happened, there must be a reason behind it. Now, I shall sleep and watch 2 videos on ‘Malaysia Negara Berkebajikan?’ and googlemap for tomorrow.



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