In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful.
Despite the difficulty, I learn a lot from my bosses. I have tough mentors. (more like multiple tough mentors). The toughest and most electrifying is my Deputy CEO. Since election, our office is a bit haywire as we have to do some lobby works and policy enhancements. But that wasn’t what I want to talk about. Last week, when we had a post mortem on our research and presentation, and he suddenly talked about True North. A woman leader who trained at MOSSAD, talked about true north.
True north is your purpose, who are true to themselves and to their believes. it wil be the time where you feel spiritually grounded, you felt your actions flowed form a sense of being at home in yourself, being at one with you best self and your truest values. Where you feel spiritually centered. Some might has already discovered their true north, some might still working it out and try to figure out where and what is it. It is not only your moral compass but your purpose compass.
This has brought me thinking of who i am and what i want to be or hope to be. but that is still the hardest question. one of the easiest question is to think what scared you the most. what scared me the most is turning to an auto-drive mode and also being with someone who doesn’t share the same mission. auto-drive mode is something along the lines in using the GPS/Gmap/Waze. it enables us to not have to think where we simple told to do. no need to be aware of where we are, or how to get there where we want to go. A compass placess greater responsibility for awareness and choice in our hands.
As we develop an awareness of what greater or lesser well-being feels like, as we learn to distinguish when we are moving toward or away from that well-being, we develop a foundation for truer choices. we find north by attuning to a sense of sacredness or wholeness – within both ourselves and others. when we lose that attunement, or feel cut off from it, when we cant sense in which direction our wholeness lies, the choices we make may not be informed by what is best for ourselves or others. following that compass, the path may be winding, but we can trust that the direction is true.
en route to your true north, you will face setbacks, resistance, sometimes what you do is insignificant and you’ll feel dispensable. But being true to your true north, will provide you the strength through the storm. It will be your guide.
Today had been extremely hard. I broke down, i felt dispensable, i felt incompetent. I slipped, and lost my way from His path. i was exhausated and lonely. i took for granted the blessings He gave me. i took granted of the hidayah He gave me.
for the longest time, i can finally cry and sleep.